Random Thoughts

How I drove a truck from Annandale, NY to St. Louis, MO after never having driven anything alone before – and other before-during-and-after-graduation moving adventures

2011-08-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

I have finally gotten down to writing about my USA-adventures this summer. The summer is almost over, and the things being described here are way behind now, maybe more behind than they should considering that they didn’t happen so long ago after all.

May 15th 2011: My mom arrived from Romania, an hour or so later than the scheduled time, because of rain that kept the plane in the air before it was cleared for landing. I got to New York with Bob and Elena in the morning: Bob was helping Elena move in into her new home and I tagged along. He also offered to collect my mom from the airport (JFK) and return us all home at Bard safely (thank you again!). This happened around 10 pm, and my roommate had already left the house, so my mommy and I slept in two different twin beds (she slept in mine and I slept in Cathy’s).

The next few days before graduation were spent with me showing my mom around Bard (I showed her RKC and my Senior Project poster, the Language Lab on the outside, Leon’s house, again, on the outside) and Red Hook (mainly the outsides of Key Bank, two churches and Hannaford, where my roommate and her dad were nice enough to take us) as well as attending the Baccalaureate ceremony in the Chapel, the Senior Dinner (without mom), as well as an Awards dinner at Fisher Center (which wasn’t that great since I sat at the same table with some awfully boring, smug and rich relatives of a Bard kid and the Bard kid herself) and the Senior Concert, also at Fisher (here, Bard graduating seniors who are generally not Conservatory majors get their chance to be the stars, maybe for the first and last times in their lives, of a solo concert, where they are accompanied by the American Symphony orchestra directed by Leon Botstein; they also did a group piece, which I thought was wonderful!). Oh, also, my bed wasn’t that small after all, since both my mom and I slept in it quite well.

I really liked the Baccalaureate Ceremony, although I know many people that didn’t attend the “religious” ceremony. There were some kids’ reactions I didn’t like, but all in all the people that attended were mature enough to show a traditional ceremony the respect it deserved. Also, since this is (was?) Bard, the religious ceremony wasn’t as religious as I expected it to be, or maybe it was more religious, just less Protestant (I hope I got it right, I never knew exactly what religion Bard was affiliated with, and I don’t really have internet access as I am writing this). There were singing and dancing performances, some speeches (one, belonging to a professor, I really enjoyed), as well as reading from the Quran!!! So no, it wasn’t Protestant, but very Bard-like, which I loved! After the ceremony we all received red carnations, which was a very nice gesture that I really enjoyed. I tried to get the video of the ceremony, but wasn’t able to, yet.

Senior Dinner I sat at the same table with Bob, Georgi and Elena (and another kid stayed with us). Botstein had a speech, as well as the class representatives and some other people, and, although I wasn’t paying attention I think some people received prizes there (?). I actually liked the senior class representatives’ speech, although it could have been shorter. Also, sorry, but I’ll never miss Kline food. Elena and I also took pictures with Botstein (next step, pictures with Obama lol). It rained (actually, it poured) during and at the end of Senior dinner, but Bob took us all home, safely. Afterwards, I went with Georgi to Elena’s.

(to be continued)

I got into Grad School! The Statement of Purpose Post

2011-04-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

So, starting next Fall I will be a Ph.D. student at Washington University in St. Louis! I have had a very interesting year, barely surviving first semester in school (though I did get great grades, much to my surprise!) because of studying for the GRE all the time. I got a 750 (82%) for Quantitative, a 670 (95%) for Verbal, and a 5.0 (84%) for the General test, and never actually sent in my Math Subject results (GOOD decision!). GPA 3.62.

I applied to 16 places, and I haven't heard back from 4 (I assume they were rejects). I got accepted with funding to 7 places: Clemson University (GTA), University of Virginia (GTA), Washington University in St. Louis (GRA), Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (GTA), Vanderbilt University (GTA), University of Houston (GRA), Worcester Polytechnic Institute (rejected before I could find out). Dartmouth downgraded my application to an MS and Virginia Tech didn't offer me funding for the Ph.D.

I visited University of Virginia, Virginia Tech (for the interview), Wash U, and Vanderbilt. All the places treated me very well, and I think I spent more weekends this semester visiting schools than at Bard. So much for my Senior Project (which is due in 3 weeks..)!

I decided to accept the offer from Wash U, although there were so many places that I would have liked to go to. I can't say exactly why I decided to go there, but let's call it a gut feeling...

I am going to put the statement of purpose (SOP) for the winning university below. My SOPs for all the other programs were pretty similar, at least in the personal part. I am actually pretty proud of my SOP.

Washington University in Saint Louis‘s computer science department is committed to being at the forefront of computer research and innovation, with experienced faculty that are leading researchers in their fields, and strong groups in many areas of computer research. This commitment to excellence, research and innovation is exactly what I am seeking in a university at this juncture. I wish to pursue a PhD in computer science, within Computer Graphics, but also hold an interest in Artificial Intelligence, Robotics, Computer Vision and Bioinformatics and in how they can be used together to solve contemporary, real-world problems.
Currently, I am a senior at Bard College, pursuing my bachelor degree in computer science on a Distinguished Scientist Scholarship. In my student career, I have taken several computer science classes, including Algorithms and Data Structures, Networks, Theory of Computation, Programming Languages, Artificial Intelligence, Distributed Systems and Computer Graphics. I have also made contributions to the activity of three research labs: the Laboratory for Algebraic and Symbolic Computation (ASC) at Bard College, the Computational Physiology Lab (CPL) at the University of Houston, and the Virtual Environments Group at Clemson University. Next semester, I will be taking a Probability and Statistics class, while continuing work on my Senior Project, which is a year-long research/programming project required of Bard seniors. In my Senior Project, I am investigating the usefulness of Voronoi diagrams based on Harris corner points as an invariant in image near-duplicate detection. My research experience has showed me how much I enjoy doing research, as it simulates my imagination and matches my inquisitive nature, my perseverance and my meticulousness, and convinced me that a research career is the right path for my future.
I started doing research my freshman year, by joining the ASC lab at Bard. The lab’s ongoing research project is the classification of quandles, a collection of algebras that have arisen from the classification of 3-dimensional knots. My most recent work entailed designing an interface for visualizing operation tables, subquandles and the cycle structure of finite quandles. My team and I helped improve the Mathematica-based QuandleViewer for large quandles and implemented a subquandle viewer. Joining this lab served as my introduction to the research world, and opened my appetite for doing research.
The summer after my freshman year I participated in an REU at the University of Houston (UH). Working on the “Analysis of the Blood Perfusion and Perspiration Components of the Supraorbital Thermal Signature” project convinced me that that research is a good career choice for me. The research introduced me to a new technology (thermal cameras) and showed a novel approach towards its usage (stress detection). The project‘s premise was that, under stress, people experience the “fight or flight” syndrome, which produces facial perspiration. The goal was to develop an algorithm to extract the perspiration signals. Working on this project taught me how to approach a research problem, how to accept guidance as well as have initiative, and how rewarding a research career is. As a reflection of my work, my poster won the REU competition and I was invited to present it the following semester at the UH Research Day.
I was honored to be invited to go back to UH the following summer. I was offered the opportunity to follow through with the project and test the software’s effectiveness by comparing the results of using this contact-free technology against the traditional Galvanic Skin Response method in polygraph testing. The analysis demonstrated that the technology is close to being used in practical applications. Working on this served to further convince me that research is the right career choice for me, as well as showed me what it means to work on a project from the beginning to its completion.
Last summer I went to Clemson, seeking a challenge through a different type of research. I participated in their REU in Human Centered Computing and worked on the project “Egocentric Distance Estimation in Virtual Environments”. The purpose was to model a virtual environment for an experiment comparing reaching distance estimations between virtual and real environments, with applications in various virtual-reality (driving, flight) simulations. In the experiment, subjects view a target placed within reaching distance and then, while blindfolded, reach to it. This project introduced me to modeling software, head-mounted displays (HMDs) and tracking systems, topics in the research area that I would like to pursue. The experiment is still being conducted at Clemson and a paper on the research is in progress.
As our technological capabilities increase, so will the level of sensory engagement. The uses for this promise to be immense: every field from medicine to cinema entertainment can be impacted and improved through these resources, and I want to be at the forefront of this developing arena. I am interested in pursuing graphics as a research field and strongly believe that both my studies and my research experiences have prepared me for it. Graphics has immense potential to solve real-world problems, as some of the current uses of the technology show: architects use it to design better buildings faster, psychologists to help patients learn to cope with disorders in balance, phobias and PTSD, archaeologists in artifact reconstruction, and biologists in a number of ways, from genomic visualization, to MRIs and other imaging technologies.
Computer generated worlds have always fascinated me, but the opportunity to experience them hadn’t arisen before last summer. Much to my dismay, however, the technology hasn’t advanced far enough for virtual reality to be experienced by people with my condition. I am part of the small percentage of the population (still amounting to 300 millions) who perceive depth differently than how the technology presumes, because they do not possess binocular (let alone stereoscopic) vision. This so-called disadvantage did not hinder my summer research, but got me thinking about a potential research topic to pursue in the future: making an HMD-like device that would take into consideration other ways people perceive depth. Such a device would allow people that rely primarily on visual cues other than stereoscopy (such as relative size, perspective, and motion parallax) to perceive 3D graphics in virtual worlds in the same manner they do in reality. I believe that, as the use of computer graphics in solving real-life problems increases, the availability of such a device for having more people exposed to the technology will become imperative. Moreover, research on the topic is bound to provide a deeper understanding of depth perception, and insight into possible improvements for current devices as well as for more-realistic computer rendering. A thorough computer graphics education at the Washington University in Saint Louis would enable me to acquire the necessary expertise to pursue this topic, whether while doing my PhD or afterwards.
From my research on the university’s website, I believe I have similar interests and would be interested in working with the professors in the Media and Machines Lab, including Prof. Cindy Grimm, Prof. Tao Ju, Prof. Robert Pless, Prof. Burchan Bayazit and Prof. Bill Smart. My main interest lies in 3D computer graphics, so I will be very happy to work on projects in the field. At Clemson I developed, using Maya, an interactive virtual environment that was identical to a real environment in a room and enabled people to interact with objects in that environment using OpenSceneGraph. I am interested in exploring alternative techniques for modeling and rendering (by working on projects such as Surface Modeling, Art-based interaction and rendering, Barycentric Coordinates with Applications in Mesh Deformation, and Volumetric methods in mesh processing), as well as have an interest in and believe there is a lot of work to be done in image and video processing and I am interested in working on projects to help advance knowledge in these areas (the Deformable imaging using anatomical atlases and the Manifold Learning and Medical Imaging projects for example). My senior thesis work is in fact in the area, as I am trying to write a computer program that recognizes image near-duplicates using Voronoi diagrams. As I stated in the beginning, I am also interested in applications in bioinformatics (for example the Skeleton-based analysis of 3D Cryo-EM protein structures at intermediate resolutions and the Optimization of Complex Biomechanical Systems projects), as well as in robotics and artificial intelligence (the Motion Planning Group’s work is interesting, as well as the New Robot Photographer, the Remote Robotic Exploration and Experimentation and the Control of a Robotic Hand Prosthesis Using Cortical Signals projects). I am sure that, in the Media and Machines Lab, I will find many of the areas stated here overlapping, as well as get to work on a research project I will really enjoy.
After graduating, I intend to continue doing research, whether in academia or in the industry. I believe that while at the Washington University in Saint Louis I will be able to receive useful information from more experienced people in order to make the right choice for my future.

Communism

2010-10-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

The following was a book review written for my Core Seminar class that I took last semester (Spring 2010) while I was attending Bard College's Globalization and International Affairs program in New York City. The reason it is here instead of my other blog is because it is very personal (and, coming from Romania, a former communist country, communism is a very touching subject for me). The purpose of the assignment was to write an essay analyzing the significance of the book “The Rise and Fall of Communism” by Archie Brown, from an individual’s perspective

The Rise and Fall of Communism

Mr. Brown’s book, “The Rise and Fall of Communism”, tells the story of communism since its emergence as isolated thoughts and its concretization as an ideology through Marx’s and Engels’ “The Communist Manifesto,” continuing with its implementation in former (and current) communist states, and ending (more or less) with the fall of the Soviet communist system. It explores the reasons communism has emerged, how it thrived or survived, as well as the reasons that lead to its downfall in the former Soviet Bloc. Although the five surviving communist states are mentioned (China, Cuba, North Korea, Laos, Vietnam), the book focuses on the Soviet Union and the Eastern Europe Bloc behind the Iron Curtain, which is the author’s area of expertise.

I come from one of the former communist countries in Eastern Europe, a country in which the communist regime was tougher than in most of its neighbors, being influenced by Mao’s regime in China. After the First World War, Romania fell under Soviet influence. The country became communist in 1947, and the regime fell in 1989 after a relatively bloody revolution. Nevertheless, the effects of the communist rule (and of the years of transition from it) are still felt today, in the way people act, in the amount of trust they put in the political parties, in their mentalities, as well as in the country’s economic situation etc.

Unfortunately, in Romania as well as in most other former communist countries, the transition period has been a hard one. Only in recent years have we managed to achieve an acceptable development level to allow the country to become part of NATO and the EU. I am part of the transition generation, and even though we haven’t lived in communism, our lives have been much influenced by it. Although more and more young people achieve positions of power, these former communist countries are still ruled by people from the former generation: in some cases by people who were also in power before the regime fell. Moreover, many young people who get positions of power are sons and daughters of people who were in power before the fall of communism, political parties don’t have well specified political ideologies and you can see a left wing party allying with a right wing party just in order to win the elections, and, unfortunately, corruption is still high in these states. Maybe because of this, people are generally skeptical about anyone who tries to ascend the political ladder, and they tend not to get involved in politics in order to protect themselves from disappointment. Also, there are still a lot of people who feel that their country has nothing to offer their children, and there is little hope that any of this will change soon.

Nevertheless, putting aside the political and economic aspect, Romania is as much a capitalist country as the USA is. We are a market economy, and the state doesn’t get involved too much in it. People watch American movies, go to malls, eat junk food and drink sodas as much as in the States. There are few that long for the years passed, and usually the point that is made is that then you didn’t have what to buy whereas now you can find almost anything but you can’t afford to buy a lot. The difference, understood by most people though, is that the opportunities today are enormous (almost unlimited), while in the past they didn’t exist (I wouldn’t have been here in the States had the communist regime not fallen, for example).

Maybe communism hasn’t influenced the way I live my life more than putting it all in perspective, but it has definitely given me an example of what I must fight against and prevent from happening again at all costs. People should read Mr. Brown’s book and should learn history so that they don’t become infatuated with an ideology that has nothing to offer in practice. It is the duty of people like me to influence others in such ways that they don’t fall prey to the beautiful idyllic light in which Marx and others have portrayed communism. The thing that these people do not understand is that communism is not a philosophical idea, but rather a sad part of history— that that idea was applied in some parts of the world (and is still unfortunately being applied in some) with dire consequences. Real life and beautiful ideas, human nature and philosophical visions of it, they just do not match! It is impossible for me to understand how some people thought (and still think!) that mankind would naturally settle with not having anything to call their own and still have motivation to do anything... If working or not working leads to the same result, wouldn’t people stop working? Isn’t that obvious? A society based on such wrong understanding of human nature can only be held in place by force and terror. There is no natural advancement in that direction, there will not come the time when the governing power will dissolve and the state will continue in a communist manner— people are just not built that way. The terror leadership has to be maintained in order for people to not succumb to their natural ways. Moreover, that leadership defeats the point of the same philosophical idea— it proves that the starting premise is wrong. People will eventually rebel against such a government, as history has in fact proven.

People today should learn more history when defending such ideas, when insinuating that they were valid points... It’s easy to avoid the mistakes of the past: it's just a matter of reading a history book and seeing what actually happened. Unfortunately, there are too many people willing to defend ideas and believe them, without caring about the facts behind those ideas... Equality in everything is not going to make anyone feel good about their person; equality in rights, options and possibilities to achieve something in life, yes, that is something to fight for, because that is in itself a motivation for fighting. Motivation is something everybody needs, and it’s something a communist regime ultimately fails to offer. A utopian communist state is impossible to achieve, and trying to achieve it is useless and destructive, as history itself points out.

Old essay, about who I was and what I wanted

2009-08-04T19:34:00.001-07:00

I wrote it for a contest in the 11th grade, but I am not sure if this is what I ended up using in the contest (I don't remember). It is a cool story. About my achievements to date. And well, I ended up winning the Junior Achievement competition and going to study computer science in the states. Hah, I never thought about it this way, but I actually achieved what I set up to do... :) Or, the most important parts (I didn't find the people to do the orphanage project with me, and the reading club, well, it wasn't unheard of as I thought at the moment). And I got an 800 on the SAT Math 2C :D

I was born a year before the liberation of my country from communism. I was just a baby when in the centre of my city (the capital of Romania) gunshots were fired and people were killed. People who believed in freedom. People who died for it. People whom I admire. Heroes. Thanks to them I now have the boldness to say that I love democracy.
My country is now on its way to becoming a part of the civilized world. And I have grown along its side- both physically and in value. From a timorous, isolated child I have grown up to be a real human being: a person. Someone who went through failures but never gave up. A person who knows exactly what she wants and who will try her best to get it. Yet a person who has realised that happiness, like success, is a road, not a destination-a road she enjoys every day.
In the 1st grade I was the shy child in the last desk, who had “her own world” as my teacher said-although I can’t remember any world. At the exam between 4th and 5th grade I placed top 5. Then I was moved into the 1st desk. I stopped being isolated and started socializing. In grades 5 through 8 I got 2nd prize without bothering much.
At the 1st important exam in my life (the one we take after finishing 8th grade and the one that decides what high school we get in) I got 9.85(on a scale of 1 to 10) and was the 25th admitted in the best high school in my city-The National College of Computer Science. I love computers and anything related to them.
In the 9th grade I reached my academic apogee: 1st prize-one of the best days of my life. In the 10th grade I got 2nd prize. That’s the year I started to wonder what I want to do with my life. That year I met and fell in love with the business world. I participated in the Junior Achievement Student Company competition and placed top 10 along with my team. We made a company called “Wing”. I was President. We produced “multifunctional closets for toys” (original product). We made the prototype for the product, the business and the marketing plans. We won a Junior Achiever Diploma and attended the “Economics for leaders” summer school.
This year I have participated again in the Student Company competition and I am waiting for the results. I have also won another competition-“The key to success”-placed 3rd in the finals. I have taken my TOEFL test and scored 293. On May 6th I am taking the SAT I exam. On June 3rd I am taking the SAT II Math 2C exam.
During high school I found a humanitarian goal-help children in orphanages. I intend to do so through a program I want to found-“Love does not cost money”. I want to bring computers in orphanages and, with the help of people who will join me, teach the children how to use a PC, speak English and other things. I am in the process of founding a Reading Club (on the web, because it saves time).
While my country is struggling to get into the EU, I am struggling to fulfil my biggest dream-study in the US. I’d like to study computer science or business. Or-why not?-both.

About Economy and Romania's Aproach to Dealing with the Crisis

2009-08-04T19:33:00.001-07:00

While in America "Economists and members of Congress are now on the prowl for new ways to stimulate spending in our dreary economy," (

ALAN S. BLINDER

) that's unfortunately not what is happening in Romania. Instead of following the basic rules even I learned in Econ 100 & 200, the economists in my country are managing to make an artificial crisis, a crisis that is way worse than the one that's been affecting the world the past few months. Instead of promoting consumption they're, well, demoting it, or even worse, completely discouraging it.

People are getting lower wages than usually, their bonuses are cut, and even parts of the salaries. Others are even losing their jobs, because the companies they work for can't deal with the artificial crisis the Government is inflicting. Oh, and of course taxes are going up, prices are going up etc.

I live in the States, as a student, and honestly I haven't felt the crisis. Yes, maybe if I worked here I would have felt it too. But the effort is clearly to inflate the market, whereas in Romania it's as if they're doing the opposite on purpose.

I know this would be a bad time for me to look for a job, whichever country I would look for a job in, but losing the job you had for years, losing the money you deserve by working (for the State in my mom's case) for tens of years, having to work for nothing because the employer can't afford to pay you yet and you can't afford to go back on the job market, or having to work ten times as much as usually for half as much money because your colleagues got fired because the employer didn't afford them... well, IT IS OUTRAGEOUS!

They should definitely get their Economics straight: consumption gets countries out of the crisis! Not the lack there of! Or they should get someone who knows some Economics to help them out, and fire the people who are failing to do so. REALLY!

About Religion

2009-08-04T17:17:00.001-07:00

The following is a reply I wrote on someone's blog (http://texasatheistteen.blogspot.com). It sums up my opinion about religion pretty well.

I am a Christian (Greek Orthodox) and I would never convert to another religion, specifically because I do not want to play the "guessing game" (guess what the right religion to have is) [1].

I believe in God and in the fact that Jesus died for us, but somehow I cannot believe that the Bible is the pure Truth, or that Church and Priests are the way to get in touch with God. Don't get me wrong, I admire people that make the time to go to Church in their busy lives, but I somehow doubt a God that's fair and righteous would rather judge someone by how much they obeyed traditions than by the amount of good they brought to the world.

I also can't accept that a righteous God would forgive someone for hurting someone else (okay, I'm talking murder/rape) just because he was truly repentful and prayed really hard. [2]

I would rather believe that the righteous God I believe in would give Heaven (or whatever the best alternative would be) [3] to the person that was raised a Buddhist, or a Muslim, or a Jew or any other faith for that matter, that did only good things for other people.

Buddhists believe that the intention that lies underneath your actions is what you should be judged on. Christians do a combination between intention and result. I believe the Buddhist way is better. One cannot know the consequences of one's actions (for example, if one saved a baby and then that baby ended up being a murderer, the person who saved him shouldn't be responsible for anything more than her actions) so there shouldn't be a "Judgement Day" when people will be held responsible for the results of their deeds. The Bible says there shall be one.

Another example of a different faith's idea that I hold very dear and which I believe is the right way to go comes from Muslims (of course most of the radical Muslims eliminated this idea from the Koran they teach their followers, but it is written somewhere in the older books). They say every person shall be judged in the end according to the laws of the religion they believed in. People shouldn't be required to play the "guessing game" (or "guess the right religion")[1]. God shouldn't ask us to do something that is so much beyond our powers, especially when there are so many unknowns.

I could go on. The idea here is that people should be entitled to their version of Heaven [3], even though they don't believe in the same God. And no, non-believers shouldn't burn in hell either, as long as they are good people, that help others more than hurt them. Belief in God shouldn't be a requirement for salvation. And baptism shouldn't be the only way to cleanse the Original Sin (how about innocent babies that died before they could get baptized, for example?).

But my take on it is that God only requires us to love our neighbors, help them etc. By loving human beings you might as well love God. Even if you're not a believer.

Oh, and there are few things I find as scary as people preaching the Love of God by saying that all people that don't believe shall burn in hell (lowercase h on purpose, hell shouldn't be capitalized). They make me run away like crazy. God loves people. Whether they believe in Him or not. There should be more aspects to burning in hell than only being a believer or not. And going to the park and shouting at people on 4th of July that they shall burn in hell if they don't convert it's, well, wrong. God shouldn't give you points for that. You shouldn't make a big deal out of your belief... it is between you and God. And the Priest I suppose.

===============================================
Explanations:
[1] If one believes there is only one religion that grants salvation, then he should reconsider all he believes in. And it is not our decision to make, as was not which religion we were born to either. We are too little and too insignificant to even dare to know the truth. And you have no right to judge others, only God has. That's why I believe people shouldn't change their religion. Some do, but then, it's their choice... And usually the reasons go way deeper than just salvation (that's what they believed in all along, somehow that belief is close to their heart), or are way shallower (my husband is a Christian, he wants a Church wedding, I need to convert because I love him).
[2] A lot of people in the Bible turned from being murderers to being God's chosen ones. I believe one of the biggest flaws of the Bible is that it treats mankind as a mass, and not as individuals. And since we're there, sorry God, but if you asked me to kill my son, I'd think You are the devil (lowercase d).
[3] About Heaven alternatives, I read someone's theory on the mentioned blog. They said that it would be cruel to force someone to live with the God that they didn't believe in, so Heaven would be hell for some people, and that's what hell is, an alternative. How about having different versions of Heaven? No, no Purgatory. Not even different heavens. But if Heaven is a surface, you could have different sections. Or simply different takes of the spirit on the place where it's at. Since it's spiritual and not physical. I, for one, would be happy to embrace the truth, whichever it may be. Within some reasonable limits, though... (to avoid being tricked by the bad guy into believing he is the good guy)

90's

2009-07-02T21:49:00.000-07:00

The 90s are long gone. Hey, it's 2009, soon to be 2010... I grew up in the '90s, but I barely remember them. I do remember writing 1996,'97,'98,'99 in my notebook for class in grade school, but still, that's not that big. I remember the Eclipse and how people were terrified for the end of the world, I was too, to be honest [I was a kid though]. But look out there: they still are!

I remember the Eclipse and thinking a little bit about the big step we were making, into a new millenium even [I know it started 2001, but that's not the point]. The first 3 letters of the year changed then, and we stepped into the ... present [I wanted to say future but...].

I remember we were poor, really poor then. Not only my family [oh, but we were, we were...] but the whole country. I remember standing in lines at "Alimentara" with my mom [grocery store] to get some food [as much as you could find, and there wasn't much to find, and also as much as we could afford], I remember that not only were bananas rare, but they were also expensive and exotic. Now you can get them in every mini/maxi/super-market [and there are TONS of supermarkets... EVERYWHERE]... Then you could only see them rarely, and never in a defined setting, maybe on street corners...

I don't know if I am melancholic about those times, they were hard for Romania. We were recovering from the communist period [and don't even get me started there], we were poor, in the midst of anarchy, politicians were taking advantage of the situation, people were getting rich at the expense of others [hah, they still do, I know!], my parents weren't getting along too greatly, and well, I'll stop there.

We've gone so far from then...

But I miss it, my childhood. Being able not to have a care in the world, that protective bubble I've been talking about... I miss it... Even though it meant no chocolate, no bananas, an old CRT TV, no computer, no color pictures until 1996 maybe, even if it meant moving from home to home... I was still safer than I feel now... Well, at least I had people I knew were ready to die for me close by [and I would do that for them too :) ], not billions of miles away.

Hm, I started this note with a different purpose in mind then diverged to that. I don't know, it may sound as a bad childhood, but love is the one thing that NEVER lacked, so it was happy, and it taught me to laugh at life. So I miss the 90's, and I don't think I'd like them any other way...

I decided to write this note as I see that many people that were great in the 90s [and 80s] are dead already [Michael Jackson being the latest] and this just screams that those times are gone. In the past. Forever. I am not good with music, and I was never one of those kids who talks about music with her friends [hmm, I'm more of a nerd than that, OK]. But I listen to music, usually whatever's on is good for me, so I know many of MJ's songs, though I didn't know they were his [or couldn't just put my finger on it?] until I listened to them again after his death on youtube. Some, I just discovered. My only real memory of MJ lasts back to 1992 [only 4 at that age], when I saw, on the black-and-white screen of my old CRT TV [that we still have in one of the bedrooms] the news about the concert he had in RO, and the FANS in the airport when he left crying that they'll never see him again. I thought it was absurd, but somehow it just stuck to me. Well, they might be righter today than they were then, but he will never truly die [right now, he's more alive than he has been the past years]. Legends live forever. And, no matter what he might have done [I find it so annoying when people comment shit on youtube videos that I just mark them as spam }:) ] there is a difference between the man and the artist. And the artist was a genius, and the man was a man. Rest in peace, Michael Jackson! You shall live on forever as a great singer.

Also, rest in peace, '90s. You will always be in my heart, until I am no more....

I just love these songs, although Ben is probably not so MJ and more the Jacksons 5...

The "God" Particle or The Higgs Boson

2009-06-29T17:47:00.000-07:00

I've just seen "Angels and Demons" recently at the cinema (recently meaning a month or so ago and well, I admit I've also read the book a few years ago) and, apart from the amazing images of Rome (when will I be able to afford going places just because I want to?!), one thing stayed in my mind: the possibility of discovering the so-called "God" particle, and therefore understanding how the Universe was created. And now, to diverge a little bit and go into a pretty controversial subject, I have to mention that I for one believe in the Creationism and the Theory of Evolution in the same time, and although I can understand why some would see them as opposing claims on the creation of the living world, unless you are stubborn to believe both of them to the letter, you would see that they CAN live together, that they don't necessarily clash. So science and religion, I don't think they should be at war with each other, although I find it odd when people try to spread their religious beliefs through the Internet...
Anyway, coming back to the "God" particle, I remember sometime last year people got completely scared that we'd end up being sucked by a black hole and die because of the experiments that were being conducted with the Large Hadron Collider, trying to recreate the Big Bang. Well, nothing happened (or rather the LHC broke down), but I was wondering, if they were to discover how the Earth was formed, to prove that the whole Big Bang Theory holds, what sort of big bang would that have on out world, and how would extremely religious people react to it? And, anyway, what would it really prove? Since everyone's working towards finding it, and since the theory behind its existence is believed accurate by the science community, we'll probably find out soon...

To read more about the "God" particle, you can use these links:
National Geographic, Wired and Wikipedia. There's also a lab in the States "racing" to find this infamous particle. You can also check this cartoon out! Also, you might want to check out Angels and Demons (if not for the science or story in it, at least for the BEAUTIFUL images of ROME).

Lessons of life...

2009-06-27T13:26:00.000-07:00

I wrote this on Facebook too, some months ago, when I was still 20... OK, so I've grown up a little since then, but it still makes tons of sense to me...

Oh, and Watch This!

And while you're at it, you can also read this article.

Why the blog is called Random Thoughts

2009-06-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Random thoughts is the name of one of my first Facebook notes and the first one that actually seemed to be part of a diary. Below is the quote. I know this is more personal than I wanted this blog to be, but hey, it's about college life, at least for me :)

It's not that I'm not weird anymore, but I am as weird here as I used to be at home. And as lonely.

Life is beautiful. There are some moments when you might feel lost and unhappy, but life is like that.

It's OK to be jealous. And proud in the same time.

You can learn how to cook even if you hadn't cooked in your life. You also mess up when making crepes. It's alright. And it's fun.

I can imagine my future kids (and by kids, I of course mean kid, it's just that I don't know the sex yet). Growing up in America (or not). But somehow I can't imagine my future husband (or their father at least). If there will be a husband, or a father I yet do not know, but somehow there will be kids. My kids won't really belong anywhere. And that's sad. And they will see a culture shock, where there's none..

You don't have to be American to be American. After all, all Americans were immigrants at one point or another.

Sooner or later, we all grow up...